Currently, we are a family of seven; however, soon to be eight. Eight people need eight place settings at every meal. Okay! Place settings is not really what we do around here. It is more like grab what you need for this meal. But that still means that if everyone decides to eat cereal for breakfast, that is seven dirty spoons, right now, minimum.
Keeping up with dirty vs. clean dishes is almost a full time job! I think we've just about worn out the new dishwasher we had installed when we bought this house three years ago. Christopher has place DISHWASHER at the top of his "Appliances Needed To Be Replaced" list. That's even above the microwave that the kids have killed the "extra 30 seconds" button on.
So back to the spoons issue. Do you know which piece of silverware is most likely to hide in the garbage disposal and wait for you to turn it on? Yep! The spoon! I don't know how it keeps happening, but over the years we keep destroying spoons in the garbage disposal. You just can't use it again after it has little metal burrs all around. Hurts too much. So over time, every set we have has fewer and fewer spoons. Remember we are a family of soon to be eight? Most of our flatware sets USED to have eight place settings. Lose a few spoons and you can't set the table for the whole family.
The other issue we have to deal with around here is that Miranda (and others not quite as bad) is incredibly picky about how the silverware feels in her hand. Truthfully, so am I. The weight has to be just right. Not too heavy and yet not too light. Then you just can't have too many rough, point places, or too much decoration that rubs on your hand. Oh, and then there is Josiah, with the artistic soul, who likes just enough decoration to be attractive.
Wade family flatware history -
1. I have the original set of flatware my grandparents gave to me when I moved out on my own. It was a set of eight place settings. Favorite thing about this set is that it has long handled tea spoons! Dislike the squared-off ends and the bumpy pattern. Have used it for years, but it is now relegated to the spare parts for large parties drawer, except for those tea spoons which get used every day!
2. Wedding gifts from registry. We only received five place settings and a few serving utensils. Never even enough for a full set. Still love the pattern! But it is discontinued. Used to save these for some special something yet to be determined? Now they are in the regular, mismatched use drawer.
3. Purchased a set of eight place settings about 10 years ago when my sister-in-law's family came in town for Thanksgiving at our house. She has four kiddos too, so we didn't have enough silverware for everyone without the new set. Liked the simple pattern with a rose on it. Used to be our "special" set, but gave up and just started using it for every day. Why use a set I didn't like when these felt better in your hand?
4. Bought a small set of four place settings that looked like #3 when we started to have a spoon issue. Looks can be deceiving! The knives are funky! I hate them. They are just not balanced right and have a very serated edge, unlike the other set. Miranda is NOT fond of these. Too bumpy in your hand.
So with the anticipation of our latest addition arriving soon, I bought a new set! Miranda loves this one, but Josiah is not happy. Very simple, smooth design, with rounded ends on the handles, no fancy engravings. Now we have a new argument brewing...what silverware to use when? So far, they have decided that the new set is only to be used at dinner time. BUT Miranda is sneaky and uses pieces from the new set for breakfast! (She must think I don't know) Then, if all the dishes don't get cleaned before dinner, CRISIS!
Why all this talk about flatware?
Did you know that often institutionalized children have sensory issues?
Early sensory deprivation or limited exposure to a variety of sights, sounds, tastes, and textures can lead to these internationally adopted kiddos being hyper-sensitive to the flood of stimuli in their new home environment. Now these are not the only kids to face this challenge, and not ALL adopted kiddos have these issues. BUT as Christopher and I took the classes and read the books required before we adopted, we just looked at one another and said, "So what? That's nothing new."
My God, with His incredible sense of humor, had been preparing us for YEARS to parent all our kids, not just our children who came to our family through adoption.
See, I
So in many ways, I'm the perfect mama for my kiddos! Caleb! Crash course in sensitivity issues when he was little. Followed by Miranda and Josiah who each have their own picky issues. Elijah? By the time he came along, I was already conditioned by older sibs. So he may not have any issues but I already think in that mindset.
Foods that must appear in the prescribed form or they can't be eaten. Food textures and smells and tastes. The only barbeque sauce that can be consumed is KC Masterpiece. The only ranch salad dressing IS Hidden Valley. Maybe you think if I was a better mom I would have force fed my pickiest eater? Something about the gap-and-vomit reflex I just couldn't overcome. Decided a long time ago that cleaning up the mess just wasn't worth the fuss.
Clothing!!!
So thankful for the tagless T-shirt revelution!
Then there were all the pants issues. The one who wouldn't wear jeans. Sweatpants! Do you even know all these issues? The crinkly ones are out because they make too much noise. One child only likes the fleece style. One child prefers the slickery stlye. Big NO to the ones with the mess stuff on the inside. Plus they are all thin like their dad so we struggle to find adjustable waists.
Socks and tights. Toe seams must be just right. Texture as well as the material must feel just right. Now remember the Miranda also had her own flair for fashion so all these requirements still had to be bold and colorful...Keziah is just like her older sister on that one.
Underwear is way more than boxers vs. briefs. Colors, textures, styles, elastic bands. And not a one likes the same kind as another. Though that does help with sorting and folding, it can drive you crazy while shopping.
Girls's clothing, especially this fall, can be next to impossible. Miranda and Keziah love to look good and be fashionable. all in their own style. But they can't stand itchy, scratchy stuff. Metalic threads in a fabric make it an instant NO WAY. As much as they love the style, they'll never wear it because it itches. All the sparkles and flashy add-ons can't be too heavy or have backing in the inside. Oh, and all that cool embroidery stuff? Boys or girls won't wear anything at our house if the chest has heavy stiching with the backing on the inside.
When I shop, I feel everything before I even think about buying it. Just like our new flatware. I had to touch it and feel it in my hand to decide if our family could tolerate using it every day.
Now as we wait for Hadassh Peiwu to come home, I ponder what new challenges we will face. What foods will she like and dislike? Keziah still hates a lot of sweet things...and my cooking in general, if you asked her. Will she like dresses and girlie things or will she prefer to wear pants more? Am I going to have two Chinese girls telling me that everyone and everything stinks? Keziah is hyper-sensitive to smells. That mixed with her blunt nature makes life interesting. However, when she likes my perfume, I get lots of hugs to go with the, "Ma, you smell good."
Thank you, Father God, for all my parental training and preparation through the years. And thanks for all six of my special kiddos! Love them lots...even when they make me crazy.
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