NO CUTS!

Having a moment...a foot stomping, screaming on the inside moment!

I just happen to be sitting at my computer, so I'm blogging about it.

Nothing is fair or right or neat or orderly about adoption!  Paperwork gets processed when it gets done.  There is no rhyme or reason to the when.

This is the whole trusting God part.  Second adoption.  You'd think I'd get it by now.

NOT!

Well, just at this moment, I'm not.

Just last night at the dinner table, I was reporting to Christopher some of the TA's that had come in for my Rumor Queen, cyber-friends.  Some have been waiting longer than our family, and some have been waiting less.  Miranda was still at the table munching and declared, "That's not fair!"  I calmly reassured my daughter that adoption is not about fair.  We know that God has everything planned in His perfect timing. 

So last night, I was fine.

This morning...I am not!

Since we started this journey back in February to bring our precious daughter, Hadassah Peiwu home, I have paper chased with families that are now home with their children or leaving soon to bring them home.  I have counseled families about adopting older kids and kids with special needs.  Now I'm watching some of them prepare to leave for China BEFORE I get to go. 

The straw that broke me this morning? 

I just read  the blog of another family that started paper chasing months after us that is leaving Friday to meet their daughter.

Yes, I'm internally stomping my feet and screaming, "IT'S NOT FAIR!" to God.

This morning, my momma heart aches for my girl.

I watch other families get updates, photos, and even video of their kids while I clutch my 9 month old pictures of my girl and wonder how much she is growing and changing while we wait to be together as a family...IT'S NOT FAIR!

Okay...I've wiped away the tears...blew my nose...took some deep breaths...now it's time to wake up the kids who got to sleep in late and get on with our busy day.

She'll be home soon.