Reading

This may astound and amaze many, but I love to read and somehow squeeze in little bits of time to actually read books.


In our home we experience this rare, modern-day phenomenon of actually telling our kids to stop reading. We subscribe to a daily newspaper (sorry trees). The standard, daily argument is over who gets to read the funny pages first and then who is next in the pecking order. Even Keziah lobbies for her chance at the paper. Caleb and Miranda have discovered that they can bear sitting through sibling stuff (concerts, recitals, and sporting events) if they stuff their nose into a book. Caleb can be so bad that we have to ask him to stop reading so he can walk safely. Elijah and Josiah enjoy reading but also argue over books-on-CD. Don’t dare start a story while the other one is in the shower! Even Keziah who is just learning to speak English and is only a beginning reader can be found staying up too late with books hidden under her pillow!

I have no idea where they get these obsessive tendencies?

Okay! I do know! ME!!!

I read way too much myself at times. I’ve had to set limits on the authors that I read so that I’m not constantly reading the latest releases.

Now for parenting and especially adoption, it’s usually a good thing. I read way more than number of books our agency required before Keziah came home. All that information was so helpful when we faced challenges.

Currently, I’m on a new binge. (My library account could tell you volumes about my life and interests!) I’ve been reading books about China. I know…big surprise…NOT!

I’ve done some reading before, but have been reading both some fiction and non-fiction to try to gain a better understanding about the people, culture, and history.

Whenever I’m reading, I drive Christopher crazy! I have this need to process all my thoughts, so he gets to listen to all my retellings and disturbed thoughts.

Recently, I finally finished “Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China” by Jung Chang. It was a long book! Over 500 pages. That took me quite a while to digest, especially reading little bits here and there while waiting for kids at lessons and practices, etc.

Currently I’ve started a novel that was recommended to me. The original reader was interested in my opinions about the book as the parent of a child adopted from China. The book is “The Red Thread” by Ann Hood.

I’ve barely made it one-third of the way through the book and already I’m grumpy.

Why?

Well, first of all, I finally figured out the time placement of the story – 2008. Now because it is a novel, I’m kind of getting a sense of where the story is heading. All these families are seeking to adopt. The agency said it could all be completed within a year’s time. Soooooo? I’m guessing that adoptions will become finalized in the story.

Sooooooo, why am I grumpy?

Well, because there is reality! All these fictional characters are seeking to adopt healthy baby girls from China. Chinese adoptions have experienced an incredible slow down! Adopting within six months to a year is ancient history if you want a “healthy” baby girl! Families that are currently being matched have been waiting for more than four years! The most recent DTC dates matched were through May 10, 2006! To think that these fictional characters are going to receive fictional babies just like that (snap), just makes me grumpy.

Then…well…so far I don’t really like any of the character sketches of the couples adopting. Crazy as it may sound, I can’t find myself in this book. I know that we sound weird! A family with four biological children, three boys and one girl. No issues of infertility. No nothing. Why adopt at all? Much less why go to China and adopt two waiting children? But we are not alone! I hang out on-line with lots of my cyber-friends and our several of our travel buddies. Lots of families with bio kids - fairly normal, healthy bio kids. These families all choose to adopt because they just want to grow their families. Adoption is just the way they choose to grow! In the book, one family is a remarriage experiencing infertility with a child from the previous marriage, and another family has a special needs biological child. That’s it! Everybody else has no kids. See? No me?

Oh, and one more reality check. There is a character considering adoption as a single parent. Uhm…China has some dossiers that are grandfathered in that are still single women, but by 2008 single women could no longer apply. Not my rule. Not my judgment about anyone’s parenting ability. This is just the way it is now. China gets to make its own rules.

Sorry to complain, especially when I haven’t even sneaked a peek at the back of the book. But I’m struggling with the fictional story when looking at reality. I’ll finish the story. Then maybe I’ll just pick up a non-fiction book for the next read…something about attachment or bonding with my new daughter? I need a break for these intense stories, so I’ll just read about real life, intense situations.