TGIF?

Adoption Community Secret - Weekends STINK!

Need an explanation? 

Monday thru Friday are business days.  Agencies and government offices around the globe are open for business.  Mail, UPS, and FedEx packages are delivered and processed.  Phone calls and emails zip around.  Things happen...or at least things can happen.  Now with the time differences around the world, sometimes events happen over the weekend.  But the typical time frame for adoption stuff is dictated by the work week.

So when you are stuck in the waiting, Fridays just aren't the exciting, woo-hoo day that they usually are.  Instead they become a real bummer...a huge letdown.

As hard as I am trying to wait patiently, I'm on edge right now.  It's for a totally mixed up reason, too. 

See, we have been waiting for 32 days since our dossier was logged into the system in China.  Our agency has stated that the normal waiting time period is between two to four months.  So I should not be expecting to hear anything about our approval anytime soon.  Right?

Well...current trends are seeing lots of approvals come faster.  More like 30 to 60 days.  Just this past week, some families received their approvals in just 35 days.  Their dates were very similar to ours.

Uhm...Monday is day 35 for us...!...?

I can feel the anxiety creeping up from my butterfly filled stomach until it almost chokes me!

So you'd think that this is all joy and excitement, but there is also this strange mixture of fear and panic thrown in there too.

Why?

Well, for us this is totally normal.  I've done this with every kid.  I always chicken out in the last trimester of pregnancy.  Always declare that there is absolutely no way I'm going through with this.  But it was never the fear of labor that scared me so badly.  It was the fear of bringing home that little stranger.  I also felt it before Keziah came home.  All the questions, fears, and doubts bombard my mind.  I always get through this time, but it hasn't ever gotten any easier.  Truthfully, even as "experienced" as we may be as parents, this fear factor has only gotten worse over time and with more kids.

With Caleb, there was just normal, first-time, new parent jitters.  With Miranda, we were a little more confident because we had survived Caleb.  When Josiah came, we had discovered that our first two were total opposites so we erroneously believed that we were more than prepared for this new little one.  But when Elijah came...we were scared spitless!

By now we knew that we had no idea what kind of mutant creature would be hidden within the cute, cuddly baby exterior!  Three kids had taught us well that each one comes with their own instruction manual...except somebody threw it out.  They are all different, polar opposites.

With Keziah as our first adoption, we knew we were prepared and clueless, all at the same time.  She was our newborn that we were just meeting and discovering the mysteries of who she was, but she was wrapped in the exterior of a six-year-old and acted behaviorally more like she was two or three for the first few months.  Firecracker smart and manipulative little stinker!  Did you know that you don't have to speak the same language to attempt to pit your parents against one another?

So here we are...waiting...

Once that approval comes, the days until Hadassah comes home will come fast and furiously...in about three months.  That may sound like another long wait.  But all I can think about is all the things that need to be done before I get lost in intensive mothering again.  Painting, cleaning, organizing our lives on top of all the daily things like laundry and eating food added in with all the homework, recitals, concerts, sporting events, and just plain being a family.

I mentioned before that these feelings are also terribly complex.  Right? 

Because at the same time...I just want my girl home...NOW! 

I flipped through the pictures I have of my Peanut tonight...missing her so much.  My pictures are so old now.  (I know I can't post them here yet...not until we get that precious approval!)  The newest ones we have are almost six months old, from when we last received updated information about her. 

Six months is an eternity to a mommy!  I want to see her.  To know how much she's grown.  Has she lost any of those precious baby teeth yet?  Does she have a boo-boo that needs kisses and a band-aid?

Okay, made myself cry there for a minute.  (deep breathe) 

Don't think for a minute that the emotional rollercoaster of adoption is any easier than pregnancy and childbirth!  I'm nesting!  I hormonally crazed!  And in the end...I just want to hold that precious miracle in my arms.