Week in Review

What a ride this week has been.  I'm totally exhausted.  It felt like I had taken on a full-time job - document certification.  My home, family, and other "jobs" have all suffered this week.  I think we ate out or frozen foods most of the week.  Last night I really wanted home-cooked food.  But by the time the taxi service made it to the grocery store, back home, and cooked dinner, we didn't eat until almost 9:00pm.

Okay, so rewind to Monday -

We had received our completed home study in the mail on Friday.  I had spent the weekend getting our I-800a (government form for immigration) completed.  I even made Christopher go to the bank on Saturday to get a money order for the processing fees.  Monday morning he took everything to work so he could get it FedEx-ed for us.

Monday's weather was HORRIBLE.  Rain, rain, and more rain.  But I decided that I would have the most time to try to get our notarized documents certified at the Secretary of State's local office downtown on Monday.  I was so excited to think that a huge chunk of our dossier would be mailed out to the Chinese consulate in Chicago on Tuesday. 

If you read Monday's lament on this blog, you already know things didn't quite go like I expected.  However, I was able to get the three notaries corrected by Tuesday afternoon.  Yay, me!

Wednesday, after my monthly, beautification appointment with my stylist, I made another attempt to have the documents certified. 

Did the word "attempt" give it away?

I sat in the office for two hours.  The Secretary of State's office in the capital city had to be evacuated for some unknown reason which delayed the whole process.  Once they returned to the building, the clerk I was working with was able to finish process my documents.  BUT...she found another one with an incomplete notary.

I was really in a panic over this one.  I doctor I no longer use had written a letter for me to prove to China that I can be a great mom in spite of what he had treated me for almost 20 years ago.  The doctor had used his own notary and then I picked up the letter from the doctor's receptionist (after paying $30 to have it written!).  I never saw either man.  Now I had to track down some stranger to insist that this mystery man fix a problem with his notary from two months ago. 

Thankfully, I can be smart at times.  The notary's last name was unique.  Looked him up in the phone book.  Found a listing for his home and for a real estate office using the same last name.  Ah-ha!  The address was in the same office building as my doctor.  Made a phone call asking for him by name and yet totally prepared to play the dumb-blonde role if needed.  The receptionist quickly connected me.  I explained the problem.  When could I come by?  RIGHT NOW!

Thursday's plan for the day - get that last document certified!  I think I could drive downtown to the Secretary of State's office blindfolded now.  Parked my car, zipped in, barely had time to pull out my book to read, and it was done.  I think I skipped out to my car!

I had everything else ready to mail to the consulate.  I stopped by Christopher's office to make three copies of the pretty certification page, stuffed and sealed the FedEx envelope, and then popped it into a FedEx box.  DONE!

A huge weight lifted from my shoulders. I felt so free.  All week I had been so stressed out.  It was so bad that all day Thursday I suffered from a facial twitch in my check.  Drove me crazy cuz I couldn't get it to stop! 

Then a new sensation gripped me - I began to feel naked.  All these papers that I have babied, coddled, and protected for months are gone.  One part is somewhere on the USCIS system (immigration) and one part was on its way to the consulate.  Everything I have worked to accomplish is gone, totally out of my control.  Still, my daughter is not home.  All these papers are my way to bring her home, but now I don't even have them.  Totally crazy and complex emotional soup.

Back to the waiting part.

The adoption journey is so strange.  There are these moments of adreniline rush, hurry, hurry, get it done yesterday which are followed by long periods of do nothing but WAIT. 

Already I'm checking my calendar to count the days.  How long until we hear from immigration?  When should all our dossier documents come back with their pretty authentication documents attached, ready to travel all the way to China?  How soon, Lord?  How long, Father?  When will my little girl come home?  Will I really be ready when she does?

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Hadassah Sweetheart, I hope somehow today God wraps you in His arms of love and lets you know how much He loves you, Little One.  I'm anxious for the day when I get to be His earthly arms holding you, carressing and kissing your face, stroking your hair, and loving you.  I long to breath in the smell of you, to bandage your boo-boos, to be your forever mama.