Having a moment...

Have I mentioned before that I firmly believe that one of the BIGGEST reasons God has called us to adopt is so He can work on refining me...my impatience...etc...?

So, He still has a LOT of work to do.

I'm having a real impatient, even jealous moment today.  So bear with me while I whine.  (And to think, I wonder where my kids get it?)

I have been working so hard on our dossier.  I did all I could in under three weeks.  Then we waited for our home study to be completed...and waited...and waited.  A few glitches along the way slowed it down a bit.  KILLER for me because I am in a hurry!

Then I had that horrible week of trying to get our documents certified. Didn't slow down the whole getting the dossier to China, but did stress me out for a week!

Now, I'm back to the waiting...and waiting...

I've checked on the return envelope we sent with our documents to be authenticated at the Chinese consulate so many times that I almost have that FedEx package number memorized.  I check the mailbox every day looking for notification of our fingerprint appointment with immigration.  I also hang out online with my adoption, cyber friends on message boards and chat groups.  I follow their progress.  I celebrate and grieve with them.

Today, I'm struggling with tiny bits of jealousy.  Some people who started paper chasing about the same time we did already have their dossiers in China.  (See my pouting face?)

Yes, I've whined to God.  I've let Him know that I don't think it is fair (stretch that out with a big whine).  I worked so hard (whine, again).  Why do I have to wait?  (You guessed it...WHINE!!!)

Okay!  Okay!! Okay!!!  I know He's the creator of the universe.  Has a perfect plan for my life, my family, and my daughter's life.  (Jeremiah 29:11...got it memorized!)  But today is just one of those days when the Refiner's fire has a lot to burn and boil away.  A day when the Potter's molding just hurts a little more.

I'm not perfect.  Did you already figure that out?  Oh, well...isn't adoption just great?  I always get to learn so much in the process!