Cattle on a Thousand Hills

I've been stewing over writing this blog for days.  It's in my heart and mind, but I wanted it to come out just right.  Now here I am, ready to write it, and it starts to change on me.

See there has been this quote from the Bible and from a song I remember growing up that I wanted to use.  I can't even remember all the words from the song.  Just this one phrase, "He owns the cattle on a thousand hills..."  As a country girl growing up, I loved the song because I could picture hills covered with cattle.  I had the visual picture in my mind to understand the message of the song...God already owned it all.

So as this blog formed in my mind, I wanted to quote that back to Him.  To call out to the God who holds everything in His hands.  But then I looked up the phrase in my Bible.  I hate it when someone miss quotes scripture or takes something totally out of context so I wanted to see it in the Word before I tossed it out into cyber-world. 

I found the verse in Psalm 50:10.  Hmmm?  So I read the whole chapter.  Hmmm??  Not quite what I expected.

Growing up I thought the quote had more to do with how God could bless us because He owned it all.  But this is not what I found in His Word.  Psalm 50:7-15, in Lara paraphrase, is addressing the Hebrew people about the sacrifices they made to God.  He's telling them, "I don't NEED your stuff!  I WANT your heart, your attitude, your sacrifice to be an expression of thanksfulness and of obedience." 

Whoa!

See the blog originally was going to start with leaving my kids to go to Canada...and even our last trip to China.  I'm ever so thankful to the grandparents who helped us and took care of all my kiddos.  BUT through both trips, we've discovered that it takes two grandparents minimum to do my job, and they are totally exhausted by the time we return.  Okay, I'm not bragging here, and I know that I have a husband too.  However, most of the scheduling, taxi driving, shopping, and meal preparation falls on ME.  Basically, I manage a small corporation here.  Plus, though the kids love their grandparents and enjoy spending time with them, they miss Mom and Dad.  AND then I get to come home to de-program them.  Which is challenging enough by itself, but extra difficult when also trying to adjust and bond with a new family member.

So I have had this wish list for God almost since we started pursuing this adoption.  First of all, I've informed him about the PERFECT travel dates so we could take ALL the kids with us.  I know that there are a million pluses and minuses to this plan.  This is just so HUGE!  The legistics of moving a small nation in and out and all around China.  Feeding my pickiest eater would be close to impossible.  I can see the headlines now - "Family Starves One Child While Adopting Another!"  Don't forget all the whining and boredom from teenagers.  Cranky kids and parents with jet-lag!  Oh, that was all the negative kind of things!  Positives - all my kids seeing the birth country of their sisters; having Keziah back in China; and watching all six meet, laugh, play, and bond together.

Then we get to the biggest reason...MONEY!  Did anyone forget that this adoption was not in the budget?  Still isn't there yet!  In fact, every time we proceed with an adoption, the entire world's economy tanks!!  (Betcha didn't know that it's all our fault, did ya?)

Right now, I'm stuck in a terrible paradox.  I'm rejoicing at how close our dossier is to finally being ready to go to China.  At the same time, I have no idea where the money we will need to pay the fees required with our dossier will come from.  (Yeah, our part of the garage sale rained out was a whopping $65.10.  Told ya we had nothing but junk!)

Now jump from that to considering traveling to China - two adults and five kids going with one extra coming home.  OUCH!  That just hurts.


Now remember, that a whole lot of mountains would have to move first.  Lots of paperwork processing at just the right time.

So I'm back to that "cattle on a thousand hills" quote...

Originally, this was a whiny blog, begging God to move mountains of time, space, paperwork, and money...

Then I really read Psalm 50...kinda changed my heart and my attitude.  You see He called to Hebrew people to "Sacrifice thank offerings to God and fulfill your vows to the Most High..." (Psalm 50:14).  Here I am, right back at needing to praise and thank Him.  Rejoicing in what He has done as well as what He will do.  And I have to continue the faith walk of doing what He wants even when I can't see the end, the how. 

Adopting Hadassah involves sacrifices as well as HUGE blessings. 

The passage continues, "...and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me."  Gotta love God's promises! 

So, God, I am still going to call out to You today.  I'm not going to ask for cows, but I will ask that in my obedience, in my life, through this adoption, that I honor You.  That You will be glorified! 

Oh, and thanks again for another swift spiritual kick in the seat of my pants!