Back to the Ranch...

Okay, you gotta read the first post from today to begin to understand the title referrence here.

More to know about me...I'm passionate about kids!  As if adopting our sixth child was not a clue. 

Adopting an older child from China's waiting child program has intensified my passion! 

I'm crazy for these kids! 

When we first started thinking about adoption, there was no way we would even consider special needs.  Too scary!  As Christopher first put it, "We played Russian roulette four time already.  This time I want a normal one." (Did I mention how much I love ALL my kids?)

God allowed our slow motion paperchase for Keziah to give us time for a heart change.  Slowly Christopher said, "Maybe."  Then eventually, we both knew that our daughter was on a waiting child list somewhere.  Ta-da...Keziah!  She has so blessed our lives (and challenged us)!

So here we are adopting again.  All the scary labels and the what if's don't seem so scary anymore. 

Now...I just see kids...kids who need homes...and families...and mommies and daddies to love on them...no matter how old they are...or how special God created them to be.  Just kids!

So why blog again today?

Well, you know that I'm head over heels in love with Hadassah.  But I also pray for lots of other kids to find their homes and families.  I keep tabs on some kiddos, praying for them to come home...just like I did with Hadassah. 

Now I have a new problem.  There is another precious little girl who has entered my heart.  I look at her picture and can't figure out why the whole world isn't rushing to bring her home.

But see there are rules in China about adopting only one at a time...some times those rules are bent. 

She plagues my heart.  So, yes, I did ask Christopher.  He has said "NO!  You can not bring them all home, Lara.  I want to retire some day.  We have no more room.  Find another way to advocate for the kids, but no more!"  I think he might have meant no...maybe.

Okay, but I still had to ask a question of our agency.  I wanted to know if they could tell me what province she is from.  I figured that this was an easy "fleece before the Lord" kind of test.  See, God, you can either open the door wide or slam it shut!  If she was from the same province, especially the same orphanage, as Hadassah, then it would surely be a big "YES!" from God.  If, however, she was from some totally different, far away province that would require like a whole week longer stay in China, that would be a BIG "NO!!"

Got an answer...would you believe that based on her province, I'm more confused than ever?  This is like the one province in all of China that I would consider a divine "Maybe?"

Told Christopher.  Told him that I really wanted a flashing, neon sign type answer from God.  He said he'd put some lights in the yard tonight for me, "NO!  NO!!  NO!!!"

Right back to the "cattle on a thousand hills" today...

So why is obeying God so hard?  Or at least why do all the ways that I think I'm supposed to obey Him have big dollar signs attached?

Maybe Christopher is right.  Maybe I just need to find a way to advocate for these kiddos.  My heart aches for them.  I want them all to go home to their families! 

So would y'all be praying for me...and for this little one.  Either God needs to throw open the flood gates of heaven to financially bless Wade World and totally change Christopher's heart or He needs to close this door and mend my heart.

(Oh, an unfortunately this total adoption passion isn't just limited to China.  Domestic, international, fostering kids...I'm pretty consumed by this.)