What is "born"?

Tough morning today.  But most mornings are just tough, because I am not a morning person.  Each night we try to preview the next day for all the kids so they have a picture of the coming day.  Everybody needed to awaken early, including Keziah because her bus is now coming 15 minutes earlier each day.  Now for Keziah, early means getting up at 7:00 am instead of 7:30am.  However, this morning she came bouncing downstairs at 6:00 am!  I needed that extra hour to wake up and get ready to face the day and her smiling face.  No such luck today.

She pondered over many things during this extra hour with everyone home.  Why was Caleb still here?  Why was Miranda still in her bathrobe.  Where were Josiah and Elijah?  Why does Dad wear clip-cloppy dress shoes and a suit?  I want cereal and hot chocolate!

Finally the house began to settle down as everyone else slipped out the door for work and school.  Now it was just the two of us and her half eaten breakfast. 

Just before leaving, Elijah had out a map of China that he had colored at school.  He wanted to know where Keziah had lived.  Where Fuling and Chongqing were on his map.  I also pointed out other stops on our trip to China in the cities of Beijing and Gunagzhou and even where his new sister Hadassah lives now.  Both Elijah and Keziah commented about how close the province of Chongqing is to Jiangxi.  Then he bounded out to hop in the truck with his dad for the drive to school.

But Keziah was not finished with our discussion.  She puzzled over why her sister did not live in Fuling.  Why did she live somewhere else?

Okay, I tried a quick and simple answer, "You were born in Fuling, and she was born in another city." 

I should have known the next question was coming.  At Christmas time one of her teachers at church had warned me that during their lesson about baby Jesus being born in Bethlehem Keziah had asked, "What is 'born'?"  The teachers dodged the question and told her to ask her parents.  Great! 

So here again she quizzed me, "What is 'born'?"

Oh, where to begin?  So I asked a few questions of my own. 

"Where to babies come from?"

"God made them."

Okay, that was a good answer and shows that we are making great progress.  But I kept pressing to discover what her beliefs were about where babies come from.  I then listened and questioned as she started one of her detailed stories about a mom and a dad and a doctor.  (Are you getting nervous yet?)  Then there is the box.  You know the present!  The doctor opens the present and give the mom and dad a baby.

Lots of work to do here.  Now we back up to babies growing in mommies' tummies.  They start out very small and grow until they are strong and healthy and big enough to live outside the mommy's tummy.

Chase a rabbit trail about a friend at school whose mom lost a baby.

Then the hard stuff.  "Was I a baby in your tummy?" 

I asnswered her question, "No, Keziah, you had a birth mommy.  You grew in her tummy."

"My China Mama!?"

"No, your China Mama, your Fuling Mama was you foster mama."

"What is 'foster mama'?"

"She is the mama who took care of you until we came to be your forever family."

"Why my birth mama no keep me?"

The tears welled up in her eyes, but she never shed one.  I watched the emotions race across her face as the raced through her mind.  For the first time in her life, she finally knows that there exists another mama.

I attempted to explain what I do not know.  I can't answer all her why's.  My hollow answers about a mama who loved you but couldn't care for you only bring more questions.  I toss out possible answers that she might understand.  Maybe she didn't have enough money leads Keziah to wonder if she didn't have a home.  I emphasize that she then had her foster mama who took care of her until we could come to bring her home.

But Keziah's mind is still with this new concept of a birth mother.  She is concerned about this mama.  She needs money.  We need to go to Fuling, talk to her foster mama, find her birth mama, and give her money.  My heart aches as my words tell her that no one knows who her birth mama is.  We can't find her.

Eventually, the soggy cereal and cold hot chocolate again claim her attention.  Now we are off to brush teeth and prepare for the school day.  With all that extra time, TV!!!

Today was Keziah's first taste of grief, of longing for the mama she never knew.  Today was a tough morning.