Promotion Sunday

What do you feel like before going to church to worship on Sunday morning?

Joy?  Anticipation?  Relief that you made it through another week?  Expectation of fellowshipping with friends?

Honestly, most Sundays around here include a fair amount of STRESS!  Just getting everybody up, dressed, fed, and out the door so we can arrive relatively on time, or at least not too late.  Double the stress level on weeks when someone from Wade World is serving and we need to be extra early and stay for multiple services!!

But intermingled with all the chaos and insanity of our reality is the desire to refresh and refuel...a deep longing to worship, drop the walls and masks to meet my God face to face, a void and vacuum need to be filled and challenged by the ministry of the Word, and a need to connect with my family of faith, to feel their love and encouragement.

Today?

Not so much…

Nausea…fear…dread…anxiety…depression

Say, "Hello," to Promotion Sunday!

Typically, having working in Children's Worship for several years, I secretly love Promotion Sunday!  New Baby Kindergarteners!!!  They are so precious!  So sweet and innocent!  I LOVE them to bits and pieces!  Love watching them grow and learn throughout the years!  I miss the big kiddos who have moved on and out into the Student Ministry, but these fresh little ones are just so stinking cute!

Uhm…this was not today's emotional roller coaster ride.

Today, Peiwu moved up to the 4th and 5th grade girls group at church.

First of all, SIBLINGS SHOULD NEVER BE TOGETHER!!!!  Or at least not combustibly, explosive sisters like Peiwu and Keziah!  Yep, Peiwu the 4th grader and Keziah the 5th grader TOGETHER!

(Okay, some sibling groups are fine together or even great, but most kids I've worked with over the years are just totally different creatures when brothers and sisters are together.  Just saying…)

Now I truly wish my only concern was that the dynamic duo of Thing 1 and Thing 2 might occasionally cause some poor leader a gray hair or two…but it's not.

Life is just not that simple around here.

Peiwu…well?…Peiwu is special…amazing, exceptional, AWESOME…and very special.

I could list a whole mix of alphabet soup abbreviations or try explaining a myriad of stuff that work together and against to create our precious, multifaceted princess, but the bottom line is just that Peiwu is SPECIAL!

Dates on calendars say that she is chronologically 10 years old, but developmentally, physically, socially, cognitively, educationally…she just isn't a neurotypical, 10-year-old, American-born-and-breed, 4th grade girl.

Our precious princess has introduced our family to an amazing community of people, a whole new world!  We are so privileged to watch Peiwu as she competes in Special Olympics events and programs.  The local Girls Softball Association even sponsors and entire softball league just for exceptional kiddos - The Exceptionals.  Every Monday night during the season, Peiwu enjoys playing ball, batting, running the bases, and scoring runs with a buddy by her side.  Her classroom teachers are so dedicated to my little girl and the other children in her special classroom.  They work so hard to help her face and overcome her struggles.  They celebrate and encourage all of her successes and achievements.  

I still often feel like an outsider simply because we dove into this world within the three years since Peiwu came home.  Most of these families have known each other for many years as their children have grown up together.  They have warmly welcomed us into the fold as we tentatively explore and discover.

What has become most amazing and confusing to me, over the past decade or so but especially in the years since Peiwu and Keziah came home, has been how accepting and supportive the "World" can be towards individuals with special needs when compared to the "Church."

Special Needs Ministry is a hot topic, current, and cutting edge.  Curriculum publishing companies are exploring how to address the needs of the local churches.  Program models are available with support for duplication and implementation.  However, in this infancy stage of growth and expansion of special needs ministry, programming, and outreach, and enormous community of people and families exists unreached outside the doors and walls of the church…marginalized…untouchables…the least of these.

Elevators, ramps, and handicapped parking spaces have been added through the years.  Not because they were budget-friendly choices, but due to laws and regulations governing equal access.  These accommodations, however, don't address the needs of so many others.

So here I sit today…struggling with the perplexing issues of how our family can continue attending church...

My 4th grader can't read or write like other 4th graders.  Some "fun" activities overwhelm her senses and emotions.  She's not always behaviorally "appropriate" for her age.  Competitive teaching activities with rewards, especially foods like candy, spark major emotional meltdowns for my child with food issues linked to years of hunger and malnutrition.  She often requires external help from an adult to stay on task, redirect behavior, and emotionally regulate.

…and even if or when I discover answers for where we are today, looming over me is the realization that in just two short years the questions of middle school and high school years within the Student Ministry have no answers yet.

Where do we go? What do we do?  What are the answers?

I'm so tired…tired of the fight and struggle of each day…tired of fighting for my kids and their needs...I long to retreat into the safety and sanctuary of the Church…without fighting and struggling…without blazing another trail through the wilderness…without feeling alone and isolated.

The irony of my Promotion Sunday struggle is that tomorrow on Monday morning my princess will hop on the bus to summer school with an accommodation program all set in place just for her and on Monday night she will dance her way onto the softball field filled with friends and the support of her community backed by corporate sponsorship.

Church on Sunday?

A place to learn about the God who loved her so much that His Son Jesus died on the cross to bring her home into His family.  Jesus, the Son of God, who healed the the sick, made the lame to walk and the blind to see, raised the dead, ate with sinners and tax collectors, made the leper whole and restored to community…"Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."