I'm tired of...

I have the "April" blog post almost finished!  Life got in the way before I could get it wrapped up...and totally derailed my plans to get caught up in just one week.  Ha! 

So this is totally unrelated to catching up.  It's a here and now post.

WARNING - This might end up a T.M.I. type post.  There you've been warned!

"I'm tired of pooping!" Peiwu lamented one afternoon as she returned to the kitchen following her after-school required potty break.

Internally I giggled.  Externally I inquired if she had pooped in the toilet or in her pants.  Yay!  Toilet!  Then I attempted to remind her, again, that pooping and peeing are just things everybody has to do.  And it is WAY better to do them IN THE TOILET!

It has taken me a couple of days pondering to realize that her pooping statement is much more significant than I first realized.

For almost two years now, we've been working on this whole pottying thing with our littlest girl.  Medical tests, x-rays, sonogram scans, specialists, and even our poop therapist.  We've had numerous sticker charts, goals both big and small, and flat out bribes.  Nothing has magically changed.  Any progress we have made, we have also watched disappear with her major regression since August.

However, in her two years home, our little one is also GROWING...

Yay!  &  Boo! 

Why?  Well coming home at seven years old but being so tiny was great because she could easily wear size 4T/5T Pull-Ups.  They are now getting too tight for our princess, with all her sensory issues.  I'm not quite sure what we will do next? 

They do make nighttime pants in larger sizes for older kids with bedwetting issues.  BUT those pants don't have the quick release velcro on the sides.  It might not seem like a BIG issue, but when you hate the inconvience of even going potty, trust me, it is an even BIGGER problem to take all you clothes and shoes off everytime you go potty because you have to change your pants. 

Two years ago, one of my first bribery offers was to buy Peiwu an American Girl Doll when she was able to wear underwear and potty in the toilet all the time.  It seemed like an expensive and extravagant gift at first.  Uhm...but now...a $100 doll would be cheap compared to how much we've spent on Pull-Ups alone.

Every time Peiwu complains about the velcro on her pants itching, I remind her that she is getting too big for little girl panties.  She needs to go potty in the toilet and wear underwear!  Often, she will pout and tell me that it is too hard for her; she can't do it.

UGH!!!

I'm frustrated!  She's frustrated!  And we both feel so defeated!!!

So back to this "I'm tired of pooping" comment...

When Peiwu came home, we discovered to polar opposite issues in her tiny little body-
#1 She had Giardia, a parasitic condition which should have caused diarrhea
#2 She had been chronically constipated for an unknown amount of time which caused her colon muscles to be stretched out and the uncontrolled poop seepage.

Those silly little parasites were the easy part to treat!  Allowing her muscles to recover and learn how to function properly?  This has been our HUGE struggle.

Every day our little girl takes doses of Miralax to make sure her stools stay soft enough so they do NOT start backing up inside of her again.  Even when we stopped for just three days back in May so they could do yet another test on her little body, I got to see sonographic images of an enorous plugged up colon filled with poop.  As yucky as it sounds, it is also heartbreaking for her mama.  All this time at home, and still her muscles haven't snapped back to "normal". 

So as I pondered her lament, I began to realize something new.  Up until she came home two years ago, my little princess didn't poop.  I mean not like a normal healthy body poops.  It's possible that she never totally emptied her bowel.  She didn't regularlly poop everyday. 

So she really is tired of pooping!

This struggle that drives me crazy to solve the puzzling mystery is also driving her crazy as she deals with the new mystery of how her body works now.

So...my goal is still to buy that doll.  Peiwu still really wants her doll.  Everyone in her life, teachers and family, really wants her to have that doll.  We all want our little princess to wear her pretty panties and poop and pee in the toilet. 

My Christmas wish this year...my New Year's goal...would be for us to celebrate her two years home in January wearing underwear and holding her doll!

Cuz we are all..."tired of pooping."  : (